Election Day should be a national holiday. Parents should have the option to keep their children close as they make their way to the polls. It could be a matter of safety in swing states where tensions run high. And in blue states, like where me and my family live in New York City, it’s best to have the babies near when you experience the type of disappointment that makes your stomach churn, head hurt, and causes you to question if Black women will ever get what we truly deserve.
Children are profound in their simplicity. The day after the election results declared Donald Trump the victor in the 2024 presidential race against Vice President Kamala Harris, I was disappointed but not surprised. I had hoped against hope that America would elect the overly qualified Black and Indian woman who had served in all three branches of government over the failed businessman turned reality star turned former president. I was wrong.
The problem with Donald Trump–and there are many–is not so much about what he says or does individually but about what he represents collectively. He reminds us just how powerful white supremacy is. His ascension to the highest office in the land yet again sends a message that you don’t have to be kind to lead. You can be sexist, racist, and self-centered and still come out on top. This is the lesson his supporters have run with and play out in everyday life. That, in addition to the rights and freedoms he hopes to eliminate, is what is so devastating about another Trump presidency.
When you’re trying to teach your children that goodness and care for others matters, how do you explain Trump?
I’m a mother of two now. My daughter, my youngest, will be four when he leaves office. For her, I’m worried about the healthcare she may one day need and be denied, for the men she may encounter gassed by his misogyny. But my biggest concerns are for my son. He’ll be seven when Trump leaves office. While Black men overwhelmingly supported Harris in this race, I would be remiss not to acknowledge the fact that Trump’s ideologies seem to permeate a bit more effectively with Black men. And one of my worst fears is that my son becomes a part of that problematic minority. I’ve been thinking about this for years now. Trump’s presidency just reminds me that I can’t let up. I have to be even more diligent in the morals and values I plan to impart and how I plan to accomplish them.
Listen to, respect, and follow Black women.
It’s no coincidence that America was comfortable with Kamala Harris serving as second in command to Joe Biden but switched up when a Black woman was coming for the number one spot. While there are countless examples of Black women leading families, churches, and entire movements, men of all colors consistently want to place us on the passenger side.
From infancy, I bought my son books featuring Black, female characters at the center, dreaming, achieving, and leading. I want him to get used to the concept. He’s around a lot of Black women in our Black family, and I’m already teaching him about respecting them, their bodily autonomy, and ensuring that he doesn’t see Black women as solely existing to be in service to him as a boy and eventually a man. As he grows, I plan to expose him to Black women in various leadership positions to teach him to listen to Black women not only because we are the backbone of the community but also because we are often the smartest, most compassionate, and most capable people in the room.
Don’t align yourself with whiteness and individualism.
The reason Trump is in office is because many white people wanted him there. We have to be clear about placing the blame where it belongs. Black folks, at large, did what we were supposed to do. We tried to vote for the best interests of the entire country. White people voted for white supremacy. In a country where whiteness wields unchecked power, it’s easy to be seduced. Many a Black person has tried to align with whiteness in the name of access and upward mobility. But it has cost them. It’s cost them community, it’s cost them connection to themselves, and more often than not, it’s cost their souls. (In the Black and biblical sense.)
There is strength in togetherness and unity, specifically in the Black diaspora at large. We are survivors, innovators, and powerful beyond measure. Whiteness may be winning, but as a Black person in this country, it’s not worth chasing that unattainable, soul-crushing status. The price is too high. I want to teach my son the beauty of the entire Black community: Black men, Black women, Black queer and nonbinary folks. I want him to know that working to empower the least of us lifts everyone. Looking out solely for yourself is a hollow pursuit.
Read a book…and beyond the headlines.
The country has a literacy problem. Black and Brown students across this nation are struggling to read and read to comprehend. The Republican party relishes this fact. It’s the reason they are actively trying to suppress the little bit of accurate history being taught in our public schools. They know that knowledge empowers and emboldens the marginalized. They want to keep us ignorant. I’ve watched countless clips and heard of numerous conversations where Trump supporters when questioned, prove they really don’t know not only what he stands for but also what he’s said. People are not reading beyond headlines. And it’s not just the older or the ignorant voting population. College students: our best and brightest, aren’t reading. There’s a new term called LiHos. It refers to people who have low information but high opinions.
I’m doing my best to try to foster a love of reading in both of my children so that they can turn to books and reading as both a source of pleasure and power.
Channel your rage.
They love to call a Black woman angry. We have every right to be. We’re tired of getting less than we deserve in virtually every facet of life. I want to teach my children that instead of demonizing Black women for their anger, recognize that sometimes it is warranted. That anger has been used for our liberation. It can be holy. We practice breathwork and emotional regulation in my home. But there is power in sitting in our emotions instead of trying to gloss over the unpleasant ones. If first acknowledged, they can lead to truth.
Trump is returning to the office of the president. We’re weary of the ways of the world. But the same things I hope to teach my children are the same things I’m reminding myself: Listen to the Black women who have never failed to provide a sense of love, support and a soft place to land in a hard world. Remember the community. Our power has never been limited to the government.
As we grieve and mourn and tend to our wounds, let’s look around and be of service to the people who will be most affected by these next four years…and beyond. Read to stay informed, read to escape, read as resistance. Lastly, your anger can be righteous. Don’t run from it or try to ignore it with toxic positivity. Use it.
